 Putz as Prologue: Did you kick these kids around on the Playground? |
The Year of the Putz
.
By N. Beaujon
April 21, 2007
This week we woke up to the news that Sen. Harry Reid (D-Neb.) had surrendered to the Muslims in the Iraqi war. For the first time in history, Congress has taken over the role of the Executive and decided that this country been defeated in battle. Harry assured us that while "he still supports our troops" he is going to show that support by humiliating them at home and abroad. Democrats have a long history of "supporting our troops”- in Vietnam, Cuba, Iran, and in Somalia at Mogadishu. The Democrats actually did support our troops in Serbia because our enemy, Slobodan Milosevic, was fighting Muslims. They only support our troops when we get the enemy thing wrong.
Yep, thanks Harry, because of friends like you not even a 12 year old Taliban thug is afraid of taking on the Great American Satan. Peronally, I believe this sort of fair weather friendship is also known as "treason." Something like aiding and abetting our enemies during war time. What do you think are the three magic words that all of our enemies our waiting to hear? "We have lost" first springs to mind. This, of course, comes right on the high heels of our first female Speaker of the House, Nancy "The Godfather" Pelosi’s diplomatic mission to Syria, a leading state sponsor of terror and one of Iran's closest friends. Most right-thinking Americans have correctly called this The Treason Tour . Pelosi could and should be easily indicted under the Logan act which forbids unauthorized citizens from negotiating with foreign governments. Unfortunately, our putz of an Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is too busy prosecuting border crossing agents than arresting Madame Speaker (D-San Francisco) for undermining our President’s foreign policy during a time of war.
Interestingly enough, the day before Reid declared surrender from Congress some putz from South Korea, comparing himself to Jesus Christ and the Columbine killers (yes, they now get equal billing thanks to the putz-heads in the media), gunned down 32 God-fearing students at Virginia Tech and then killed himself. (That last part was the good news.) Anyway, this useless, self absorbed nut sought to turn his meaningless life into a notorious, well-publicized death and the media was only too happy to oblige. In a calculated media spectacle reminiscent of Al Sharpton at a Tawana Brawley rally, this useless putz who shall remain nameless (he’s had his 15 minutes of fame) sent a videotaped "Suicide Manifesto" to the putz's over at NBC news where they promptly made copies, sent it to the Feds and then played it on air- over and over and over again. Making sure to give him the fame and notoriety he so desperately craved, guaranteeing that dozens of copy cat crimes would be sure to follow which, of course, they did.
The next day we awoke to a series of copy cat crimes including some soon to be ex-employee at the Johnson Space Center in Houston who mowed down his boss and then shot himself, insuring his own place in the infamous Putz Hall of Fame.
This all would have been a lot easier to take had we not just gone through 6 months of agony watching uber-putz Howard K. Stern trying to convince the world that he was the daddy of little DannyLynn Smith, progeny of the famous for being famous former Guess jeans model, Anna Nicole Smith. Not one person in America or anywhere else believed that Howard K. Stern was the father over that nice Larry Birkhead because, as Larry so succinctly put it, "there’s only one way to make a baby."
True, but that didn’t stop the Prince of Putzville, Frederick Von Anhalt, the 59 year old husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, 90, from claiming he was the true father- which was kind of hard to believe given that the "Prince" had been suing the makers of Viagra since the year 2000 claiming that the sex aid drug had made him impotent. (His age, by the way, was listed at "59" even back then.)
But the putz Grand slam had to have come when radio/MSNBC shock jock Don Imus called the almost all black women’s basketball team at Rutgers University a bunch of "nappy haired ‘hos" causing more ruckus then say, a shooting riot and arson at Freddy's Fashion Mart where 7 people died as a result of Reverend Al "Jerry Curl" Sharpton ginning up the crowd with anti-Semetic slurs. No sooner had the words left Don Imus's mouth when the Reverends Al and Jesse "Poverty Pimp" Jackson were calling for Imus's head, which they got when his putz-headed bosses over at MSNBC and CBS, in a fit of sanctimonious pique, fired him. My God, you’d think some Presidential candidate had actually called New York City "Hymietown" during a campaign interview with the Washington Post.
I don’t know about you but this is what black culture gets all upset about? Not about the black thug who beat and robbed a 104 and 85 year old woman in New York City in a single day, not about the nappy haired 'ho who lied to convict three white Duke Lacrosse players for a rape they did not commit, not the declaration of hip hop putz Cam'ron on 60 minutes that because of his code of ethics there was no situation -- including a serial killer living next door -- that would cause him to help police in any way. ("... it would definitely hurt my business, and the way I was raised, I just don't do that.")
Yep, this is definately the Year of the Putz because nobody has yet to successfully explain how people like this get a place on the public stage. I thought that jocks were supposed to be tough, not sniveling wimps who get to sulk, pout and call a press conference, when some ancient and irrelevant shock jock calls them something that their culture calls them all day. Further, after listening to rap music for no more that 10 hours in my entire life I thought that nappy haired was merely descriptive, and ‘ho was a term of endearment.
We have become a nation of wimps being led by a party of putz's. How on earth did the kids who got kicked around on the playground ever got a hold of this nation's power structure? Perhaps we'll never know but I think it has something to do with the 19th Amendment and giving imbeciles the right to vote.
