 "Look! I've joined the Hair Club for Books." |
Osama's Book Club for Hairy Men
By N. Beaujon
September 11, 2007
Last week, Osama bin Laden returned to the public stage with a new enterprise: Osama’s Book Club for Hairy Men. (In Islam women don't read.) Money's been tight in exile, donations are down and it's hard to find a good hair salon when you're stuck in a cave so, Osama- being the propaganda Queen- that he is has taken on new ventures. "O's Book of the Month" club is now featured on his newly released video entitled, "Death to American Pigs, redux."
Always staying on message, Osama shills for that well-known, self-loathing, degenerate anti-Semitic Jew, Noam Chomsky. Of Chomsky, it's been said ...[he has] demonstrated many times ... anti-Americanism trumps everything else." Osama loves this reprobate and has made a new 9-11 Anniversary tape in order to tout the genius of hacks like Noam Chomsky, and critique the U.S. sub-prime mortgage market. Things must be getting pretty boring in paradise. You'd think he'd have commented on something more important like Britney Spears' custody battle or a U.S. Senator cruising for gay sex in airport bathrooms. Now, there is a topic Osama could sink his nice, white capped teeth into (apparently he still has access to dentists and, not for nothing but how does he continue to keep his whites so white?) If Osama wanted to make some real American dinero he'd tell us American satanites how to keep our white linens so clean, even if you live in a cave. Surely, that is the 8th wonder of the world; a secret almost worth converting to Islam for. But I digress.
Actually, Osama's biggest fans in the U.S. are not bored American housewives looking for cures for their laundry woes they are artless liberals and secular "progressives" who have yet to figure out that when that uber prude Osama rules the world they are the first people who are going to get stone walls toppled on their degenerate heads.
Americans are stupid. We have become a nation of self-loathing dupes who actually give credence to people who want to convert us all to Islam or chop off our heads. Osama's liberal and Hollywood sycophants would throw a Jehovah's Witness out on their evangelical butts but warmly embrace Osama bin Laden and his sanctimonious crusade. To these emotional pre-adolescents "anti-Americanism trumps everything else". Osama will stand up to the Man. That would be you and me.
Feminists think he is "dreamy", leftist radicals believe he "speaks truth to power", anti-Israeli factions believes he is standing up to a totalitarian regime, the reality is that Osama is playing the U.S. public for fools. Not a difficult task when you've been weaned on the hypocritical tripe doled out by such academic frauds like Noam Chomsky, et al. At least, along with his promise of 2% taxes he'll guarantee a bottle of Grecian Formula (for men) in every pot.
